#113 - the 12 phases of ultra-endurance psychology

I'm hoping for leg warmers this year

 Most every athlete knows that training goes in phases, or "periods" if you want to tip the cap to the eastern-block origins of "periodization" in sport.....and where on the professional side we typically refer to these with a thick layer of jargon, I like to keep myself grounded with a bit of a normalized translation.  Since the training cycle is, well, cyclical (duh) you can start from any "phase" and work around.....but since for me, our story always starts with fat & happy.....let's start there:

Phase I - the fat and happy phase:  This is everyone's favorite phase - because you get to forget about how hard training really is.  This phase is marked by reminiscing about the last glory....which although is never quite as bad as it seemed at the time, is never quite as good as it feels looking back on it during "Fat & Happy".  This phase is also where nutrition habits tend to suffer (hence the "fat") and the body has a chance to recover and repair from the last story-worthy (albeit often of questionable judgment) adventure.

Phase II - the enlightenment: This is probably the worst phase (in my opinion) because it's when you realize what fat and happy have collectively done.....you realize that the decline in exercise has caught up with you (circumferentially speaking).....and it's usually when "happy" decides to try being a solo-act and leaves.  This is also a tricky time because now "fat" needs a new partner.....and usually the first to come to audition is "slightly-depressed".  However if you can avoid that wise-ass, you can usually expect "wishy-washy" to stop by, followed by "it's time to get serious" followed by "alright, I'm ready" followed by "let's get organized" and finally followed by "let's get physical".

Phase III - the pain of change phase: If you can finally get "fat" to hook-up with "let's get physical" then your on your way......although still, shall we say, not in tip-top form......but that's OK, because that's what phase III is all about.....paying the price (usually in the currency of pain and soreness) to open the windows, let the stale-air out and the light in.  You of course know those are good things and it feels good to get moving again....when you're moving that is.  It also feels tight, sore and reluctant to move when you're not....but after a few weeks, you might even start to notice some improvement as "let's get physical" starts to call the shots.  You're not there yet.....I mean "fat" is still hanging around, but he seems to be more focused now.

Phase IV - the "get busy living or get busy dying" phase: This is the phase of reckoning for "fat", where "let's get physical" decides to confront the situation.  It's not always an easy confrontation, but it always happens.....see "fat" has a definite job.....and you need what it brings to the table.....but you realize now that it has to be on your terms if happy is ever going to rejoin the group.  The best part of this phase is that all of the "let's get physical" has helped you to hone your willpower and with a little effort, usually fat (the sloppy house guest) can now become fat the incredibly important source of energy.

Phase V - the "gentleman we can rebuild him" phase: Phase V is the first "promised land" phase....because now you're believing in you again.  You're beginning to see the fruits of your labor and your training has become part of your routine.  The goal of course is for this to be the longest phase, because this is where improvement really happens.  The big risk here though is that life does indeed get in the way......and it's so easy to never quite get to the Phase V shoreline (or to be blown back into the ocean by a stiff wind).  You can see the lighthouse beacon right in front of you, but the current just seems to be insurmountable. So many weekend-warriors get stuck in this no-man-land..... If however you can get safely to shore, which of course is marked by training consistency more than anything, you will have good stories to tell when you're back at Fat & Happy.  If not, you run the risk of taking a wrong turn and winding up in "fat and miserable".  KEEP OUT!

Phase VI - the "kicking ass and taking names" phase: this is the second "promised land" phase....and it's even better than the first.  Not many get here, but when you have even once, you always want to get back.  You're breaking new ground, surprising even yourself, and realizing how shortsighted the limits you previously set for yourself really were.  The unfortunate part of this phase is that it can be very very short.  Savor it.

Phase VII - the "warrior" phase: this phase is marked by some anxiety and some fear....but ultimately it's a moment to shine.  You've done the training, you haven't seen fat & happy in a while.....but you're now steely & focused.  It's a game of mental focus now.... Hopefully by now you've done plenty of prep-tests and you know what to expect....the question is can you find that sweetspot between focused and relaxed.

Phase VIII - the "doubter" phase: at some point, usually when you're past the point of no return, you wonder if you can actually do this.  You talk (sometimes out loud) to yourself and conclude you can.  You squash the doubter and move on.

Phase IX - the "high": usually shortly after you cross the finish line of the big-race and realize you're going to be OK, you settle into the glory of it.  Months have gone into the making of this moment......and although it never ever turns out exactly like planned, you know you laid it out there....that you committed and pulled through....and it feels good.

Phase X - the "low": soon enough after the high comes the low.  It's marked by I "should-a" and I "could-a" and there's plenty of inventory taking of the other phases.  If your team is strong, they pull you out of this quickly.

Phase XI - the R-cubed phase (Rehab, Rest, Recover): You've pushed yourself, hopefully not to an injury, but maybe closer than you should have......and it's time to get whole again....not only physically, but with your relationships and the world around you.  You spend time.....because you can and you have it......and it feels good.  The training routine is still such a strong habit that sometimes you have to tell yourself it's OK not to train....that taking time off is part of recharging......that getting a little fat & happy is part of the cycle......and that it will take an enormous amount of energy to complete the cycle again....so live it up while you can.

Phase XII - the "what-if" phase: that's right - "do the cycle again" - because even though at every single phase from 5 through 10 you told yourself you wouldn't, you're still in great shape, you just reached many objectives (if not the entire goal) and you start day dreaming.  This is such a fun phase because your dreams never seemed closer and more doable......you start scheming.....while you're fattening up.....it's a happy time.

As for me - I'm late stage 3 - "I mean, fat is still hanging around.....but he's a lot more focused".

Gettin' busy living,

Mike E.

#112: Chill out - Training in the tundra

When it's outside your control, learn to roll w/it

You know the phrase, don't sweat the small stuff? That was my mantra this week in regards to training. Of course, at some level this is at odds with what we're supposed to do when life throws lemons, but you get the idea.  This week, "roll with it" was far more applicable on the training front....so I did my best.

It started on Monday with some brisk temperatures....so I got on the bike trainer as planned. No problem.

On Tuesday winter weather pushed in, so it was a shoveling workout.....not my favorite, but you do what you gotta right?  Oh yeah, and my heart-rate monitor stopped working (now this is not good)....but I'm staying calm.

On Wed, more unseasonably cold weather, but I got a solid workout in on the bike trainer....despite my feet going numb by the time it was over from the garage floor radiating cold....I mean, it is winter right? What do I expect? OK, so it's not winter until the 21st, and last year was the warmest on record....but whatever, I can roll with it.

Thursday, with weather in the low 20s, I figured I'd roll-with-it again.....six mile run with frozen ground and headlamps made for an interesting thaw of my Left (now peg-ish) leg due to frozen toes, but it was still a strong run and I was glad I did it.

Friday, I took the day off.

How to handle predicted snowstorm on Saturday? Not a problem, just get a run in before it gets out of hand: 10 miles of hilly work and some snow to "cool" your face in the final miles.  Nice!

Sunday AM ride? Converted to 2 hours of shoveling.  The coating of ice on top of the snow was a nice way to add some resistance......

So it wasn't exactly what I had planned, but I still got in more frequency (six days) and more volume (15% increase).....not terrible.

If it's all about finding my rhythm right now, I'd call this week a success. If it was all about swim-bike-run, well.....not as good.  The best news is that my fitness is showing some signs of life.  My sessions on the bike are getting stronger and my running isn't as far off as I originally thought it might be.....and my shoveling is really pretty good.....however I'm not sure how that's going to help.

This week it looks like there's only 1 day of predicted winter weather.....and after a few more cold days, the weather could be back toward normal.  If not, I'm thinking about hiring this guy as my new coach.

Keep shufflin',

Mike E.

(photo credit http://www.darrenbraun.com/)

#111 - Testing, Distractions and a welcome-back WHACK

I guess I always imagine it might be more like the prodigal son's return - you know open arms, a welcoming embrace and a small party.....but it's never quite like that.  It's something more akin to a welcoming headbutt or kick to the shins, as if my body is saying "oh great, look who's back.....where the hell have you been - WHACK" - it's a sure-fire way of knowing that I'm at the early part of training.....and not all parties have agreed to come along for the ride.

Pre-training, or "prep" (as some like to call it) is so wonderful and easy going - a few workouts here and there a slow, easy pace, work - but not THAT much.....and so on.  I love that aspect, mostly because it feels like time to yourself with just a little exertion mixed in.  And then there's the early phases of base training, which are not much more than prep really. Still pretty easy going, with the main emphasis of readying the system and organizing life.  Officially, I'm at the later stages of that and, as mentioned last week, the making plans part (getting organized) is done-enough for now.....so this week, was the beginning of actual training.....and with the beginning of any "actual" comes the bitter pill known as "testing".

Testing
The truth is no one really "likes" testing. It's hard.....as it should be if you're going to figure out where you really stand. And so, with enough early base hours in, and formal training right around the corner, it was time to test.....and apropos for this time of year, I chose yesterday's "pie run" as my first test.  The objective of the run is to correctly guess your overall time for a 6 mile loop...closest person wins the pies....not bad, except the course is anything but predictable.  A couple of flat sections, a solid uphill and a big downhill, with a time trial start.  Having no idea where I stood, I underestimated my fitness by more than I should have, but it gave me a solid idea of where I stood.....I pushed hard enough to get a good concept of where my fitness stands, and as usual, it's never as good as it should be nor where I'd like it; but it was decent.

Silence the mind

So although I wasn't super enthused to do so today, I took my sore quads and put them on the bike trainer for a couple hours of blissfulness. I was definitely tired from yesterday's run, but it was good to push my legs some.....but the best thing was that I tried to put some emphasis on the mental endurance portion of training.  Truly, there is nothing more boring than the bike trainer....and in the early going of training about 1 hour is my mental max before my boredom manifests into thinking about all of the things I'd rather be doing....so I figured this week, I'd try to make that one of my training objectives: to work on keeping the mental focus needed.  This is probably one of the most functionally translatable aspects of endurance sports for me. It forces me to calm and focus, a skill that, like most I suppose, isn't supported by the pace of my everyday life.  When one of your best-practiced habits is trying to do to much, simply "being" is not nearly as simple as it sounds.....so something that not only will help my racing, but my everyday.

For starters, I found a few meditation-like exercises that help with focus and figured I'd give them a try while I rode - best of both worlds .  It was not easy....and my mind wandered a lot, but I think there's real value there since racing "within oneself" is so important at the ultra distances.... 

So with >50 miles on the bike and nearly 20 on the run.....training is slowly gearing back up.  My fitness has a way to go and my focus even further, but my routine is starting to take shape.

Steady as she goes,

Mike E.

#110 - Making plans - with 34 weeks to go, it's good crazy.

It's only crazy if....

I love the movie Braveheart - it's one of my favorite movies of all time. Yes, Mel Gibson appears to have largely gone crazy, and yes, that makes me a fan of a (largely) crazy-person.....but it's still a great movie.  When I sat down to reflect on this week, that was what popped into my head....  Not because I relate to the character (or the actor per se), but because at some point, it has to be about action.  And although I'm thankful that I have 34 more weeks - and that my goal is a bit less lofty than achieving independence for a country through gory battles resulting in disembowelment (ouch), it's time to be about action.

Do you remember the scene when they show Wallace running along the hilltops and the unbelievable panoramic views of the landscapes?  At some point I really want to find out where that was and run that path, but I digress.....That scene is called "making plans" (and gathering the clans) and if last week was about putting myself back out there (and crying for your help), then making plans was what this week was all about.  Shortly after I published last week's blog I printed out a calendar to write down the skeleton of a plan and cracked open a few key triathlon resources to reacquaint myself with. After deciding on a basic structure, I started to make plans.

There were a couple of themes that emerged - areas of training that I really need to focus on this go-around: 

1. Racing - although not typically considered a part of training by most folks, this is something I've decided to come to terms with: I just don't race that much and don't have a long history to pull from.  Although I'm now 6 years into my endurance habit, that's a pretty shallow well of experience to pull from, when you consider many folks race for a decade before they attempt ultradistance. If I include all of my races (from local 5K through 140.6), I've only done 26 races, 8 of which were triathlon.  Some athletes will do this many triathlons in a season.....so I'm still a bit of a newbie when it comes to racing. After thinking through how much I learn each time I race, it was clear to me that I can probably shave some time by simply getting more practice at racing itself.  So whereas I'd love to invest more in gear.....I'm thinking I need to just dig a deeper well.  So I'll be building my racing calendar.

2. Power & Pacing - when I compare my relative performances in those 26 races, I tend to do better (relative to the field) the shorter the race - my 5K time is better (compared to my age group for instance) than my 10K, which is better than my OLY-Tri time, which is better than my 1/2 ironman time which is better than my Ironman time.  It's not always the case, but in general the trend holds. I need to try and figure out what variables have the greatest impact here, but this is really important since my goal is in a longer event.  Maybe it says I'm pushing too hard initially and then dropping off faster than I should during the race?  This is very possible.  Maybe it says I'm just more accustom to racing at higher-intensities and/or my anaerobic system is a bit more efficient than my aerobic relative to the field? Maybe it says a lot of things......but one thing's for certain, I've got to get this figured out so I can put the work where it's needed.

3. Consistency is King - this is something I know all too well, but it still is important to train with this goal first and foremost in my mind.... plain and simple, establishing my training rhythm is job 1.  When I get into the habit and build training into every thing I do, I can accumulate enough training hours to get the adaptations I'm looking for.  When I don't have this rhythm, I struggle.  I relearned this lesson this past summer, and 2014 is too important to me to pay the price for goofing off again.  If I stay focused, by the end of December, I should have met this goal.

At least this isn't crazy - Is that Chuck Norris?

4. Strength - There was a time (although it seems like a distant memory at times) when I felt pretty strong, however as I've gotten into endurance-sports, I've let this slip some to build my aerobic base and reserves.  I've been trying to give this a greater emphasis and so far.....well, my body isn't a huge fan.  But soreness fades and the added strength will be an asset - so it's buns of steel for me.


5. Nutrition - This of course never ceases to be important, but it will continue to get more important from here.  I have somewhere between 10 and 15 lbs of body fat to shed by raceday.  It's not terribly urgent right now.  In fact, although I can definitely NOT say accumulating the fat was intentional, some folks advocate for carrying this extra weight during the early training.....sort of like training with a weighted vest I guess.  Either way, I will begin to make some slow changes in my diet - initially a concerted effort on increasing water consumption and a shift to reduce some sugar/carbs.....but nothing drastic - at least until training consistency is met.

 More to come.....but for now - here are the tunes that are stuck in my head, 

Mike E.
    

#109: Wait, was that a cry for help? YES....HELP

If the vision is to cross the finish where it all began, the mission is to get to the starting line.

On 10/11/14 it would taste better IN HAWAII

Where do you want to be 35 weeks from today?  If you're anything like me, it's difficult to say where you'll actually be in a few days, let alone 245 days into the future. But where you'll actually be and where you want to be are two totally different questions. The truth is, I love a good plan.  To me, it's like a work of art: plenty of logic (point A connects to point B, etc) keeps my inner geek happy, lofty goals satisfy the optimistic-adventurer, and laying it all out adds the proper dose of "oh don't be fooled, it's urgent" to my all-too-often loudmouth internal procrastinator who is very happy to reiterate that 245 days is two-thirds of a year man. Perhaps the thing I love the most about a good plan is it makes me question myself.  It forces me to say "do you REALLY want that goal?", "are you ABSOLUTELY sure?"......"in light of ALL of that work, are you CONVINCED this is how you want to spend your time?"......"are you really willing to make the sacrifices required?" - It's the ultimate gut-check. 
More specifically, in this case, the question is - "Am I willing to do everything it takes to show up in Lake Placid, NY on July 27, 2014 stronger, fitter and more focused than I've ever been; ready to lay it all out for a chance to do something extraordinary?" And if I'm being truthful, I'm not 100% sure the answer is "Yes".....yet.

The Liabilities:

• It's been 6 months since I've written a blog post; something that keeps me focused - not much different than a journal I guess.....except others are allowed to read it. 
• I am busier than ever both professionally and personally.....and although this is my least favorite excuse (it's happens to be the most common), most people who are excelling at ultradistance triathlon are putting 20-25 hours of training in per week....so time is a realistic limiter in this case.
• Training for an Ironman takes time that is (given my status as a "functioning workaholic") already precious, away from my family.....see last bullet point.
• I'm not at all sure, even if everything goes right, that I can meet my goal....some of this is confidence and some of it's just the reality of the unknown.
• I can't seem to push as hard and I don't seem to recover as fast as even a few years ago - I'm struggling with the idea that "I'm getting old".....since so many greats in the sport seem to defy age - but switching from training harder to training smarter has not been easy for me.  Maybe the first step is admitting the problem?
• Despite being in the best shape of my life, I didn't meet my goal last time in the same event-distance....again some part confidence, some part more to learn
• I'm currently at 20% of where I need to be from a "frame" perspective (i.e. the resilience to injury I'll need to do it safely) and 50-60% of where I need to be from an "engine" standpoint (i.e. fitness/strength/power/endurance).....this is actually the least of my worries, a shift from previous years.

None of this is what I'd like to report......but that's the funny part about great plans, which I believe-in wholeheartedly.....if the potential exists and you're both honest from the outset AND willing to do the work, the right plan can get you there DESPITE the context....warts and all.

The Assets:

• Even though It's not super urgent to me (it's a lifetime goal)......I REALLY REALLY want to achieve the goal (qualifying for Kona).
• I very rarely give up on something I care about - some might even argue "stubborn".
• I've gone this distance x2 already and have learned a TON along the way (many "what not to do" moments as well as a few "wow, that worked well").
• As difficult as it is, the people around me are behind me and want to see me succeed
• My family has also been through this x2....and they too have learned a TON along the way (they've gone from passive observer, to actively engaged.....hopefully this time to "pusher").
• Since my last attempt, I've added to my "mental bank" of what I can endure including a 50 mi ultramarathon - something I will rely heavily on when the inevitable "going gets tough" sections of the journey - nothing better than being able to say "I've done worse", when you're questioning "why" mid-race.

This, of course is the stuff I like to talk about.....and although without these assets there is no chance of success, like none, they are unfortunately not enough on their own to push me over the top. 

The Opportunity: 

So if likelihood of success = the sum of assets and liabilities, then the focus of the plan should be about getting more assets, i.e. converting liabilities to assets where possible, minimizing the ones I can't convert and finding new ones altogether right? And so I find myself wondering: 

What about the liabilities I don't even know that I have?  What about new insights about potential assets that I previously undervalued? Unless I assume I know everything (which despite my absolute love of information, data and evidence [and contrary to the belief of some], I actually don't assume), this is a pretty big variable to discount or brush-off.

But there is one absolutely CRITICAL link in my plan that I still need to figure out.....something I can't control-for yet, but I still need.....and that is YOU.  Yep, if you're one of the (few I'm sure) readers - I need you on my team.  I need your help.  Please don't take this lightly - I'm still learning and growing and asking for help is not something I do often (or particularly well)......but that's what big goals do.....they push us, to ultimately become a better version of us......

Maybe you'll be on my coaching staff, maybe you'll be my mentor, maybe you'll be my Physical Therapist or trainer, maybe you'll be my psychologist......these are only a few of the available roles....there are many.  I'll need cheerleaders & drill sergeants, sleep experts and nutrition czars, I'll need gear-geeks and data-nerds, I'll need the occasional kick in the ass and I might even need a hug (be forewarned, I'm not a hugger, so please don't linger there)......maybe you'll read along these next 35 Sundays and leave a comment now and again, maybe you'll be there only occasionally.....and you'll just shake your head and wonder why, but one thing is for certain - I need all the help I can get.....and since I'm just about ready to write it all out....It's time to start penciling names into those roles.  

I'm not there yet....not even close, but unofficially starting last month, and yesterday, after almost two hours of butt-crushing work on the bike-trainer celebrated with a Kona Brewing Company "Longboard Lager" (which I'm sure is a Ha'ole brew, but about the only thing you can get in NJ in Nov and a hugely appreciated gesture from Lindsay who reiterated she's "in" for a spot on Team RED-iculous 2014) and a serenade of "What a Wonderful World" by IZ, the RED-iculous effort resumes......I hope you'll consider joining my team - because I need you!

Join the effort,

Mike E.

#108: Ultramarathon - more highs and lows than the race course alone

A CRAZY IDEA FROM THE START

It was 2 full years ago that I told my colleague Nick that I would do a 50 mile ultramarathon with him.  At the time I figured it'd be a great challenge and it would encourage him as he set his sights on getting to the finish line of a few big-distance races during his ENDURE experience.  At the time I sort of said it nonchalantly, and it probably sounded like an empty commitment......but I meant what I said......I did want to do it.  He chose the Northface 50 mile challenge which is a serious adventure race with lots of technical trails and lots and lots of miles (yes, 50 miles by foot is a long way anyway, but this adds some crazy terrain into the mix)......and I wanted to do it, but with timing of Ironman and my own goals, I couldn't afford an injury or something that would derail my training, so I backed out.....something I HATE doing......but it was the right thing to do and allowing my brain to prevail over my heart this time was a smart decision.  However I still had made the commitment......  

The Race Course

When I heard that Todd Jennings (a trail runner and generally great guy from nearby New York) that we met as part of the "Running on Empty" book event with Marshall Ulrich (a legendary ultra-endurance athlete), was putting on a new and challenging 50 mile ultramarathon, I recommitted.  It was the perfect scenario - we wanted to support Todd, I wanted to back up my promise and I was in my "off year" for Ironman training (I've promised Lindsay to only go Iron-M-I-A every other year at most) so injury wouldn't be AS big a concern.  

"Great, I'm in" I said.  But as things got closer I wasn't super inspired to do the training. As the need to unofficially form a team came within reach it looked like we weren't going to field a full team of four.  It sort of felt like this might be my out - you know, "I would've done it, but...." 

And as it turned out, there was to be no out..... At every turn something kept things within striking distance:  Only 2 people want to do it?  Nope - Joe G, and experienced ultra-endurance athlete who had joined the Pro-Activity staff was going to jump in.  Can't get a fourth person to fill out your roster?  No problem, Todd is accepting teams of UP-TO four.  Bottom line - nothing is stopping you......except you. 

"OK, I'm in".....with lots of barriers. 

FITS AND STARTS

From the get-go my training seemed doomed.  I just couldn't find a great training groove.    I'd get a few sessions in one week and think I was getting on track and then life would get in the way and I'd lose my momentum; I'd do a few miles and then some ache or pain would threaten; and the story went like that for a few months. All the while, I kept telling everyone that I was doing the race, that it was going to be ugly, but that I was doing it.  By that point, I knew I wouldn't back out, but I definitely didn't feel confident or particularly strong either.  I made absolutely sure that Joe and Nick both knew that I was going to need to go SLOW if we were going to pull this off and that I would be siphoning their experience to get through this adventure.  My role was going to be the third wheel, the guy solely worried about getting enough sugar, salt and water into the bloodstream and keeping one-foot in front of the other until the end.  They reassured me that they were cool with that strategy and that everything was going to be OK; and I kept trudging along through my training, not really paying close attention to the training data, just trying my best to get some level of consistency going.

For the record, it's a darn good thing I wasn't paying too close attention to the data.  After looking back through my data for the year, my longest run of the year prior to yesterday's race was the "New Year's Day Death Run" that a couple of my local training partners do each year.  It's a 15 mile, grueling route......but even that, at 15 miles is WAY short of the typical ultramarathon training plan which often has back to back days of 20 to 30 mile runs to build the resiliency needed.  Yeah, so I was WAY short.  Most marathons train a person to a 22 mile long-run at least.  Not exactly the wisest training strategy........

THE FIRST OBSTACLE 

After a pre-race routine which mimicked the disorganized nature of my training (we were literally the last team to check in, about 15 minutes before the race was to start), I packed my final drop off bag, found the porta-john and got in line at the start.  Joe said "are you sure you want to wear that?" referring to the long-sleeve fleece I was wearing.  It was chilly, but I had been thinking of ditching it in my bag anyway, so that put my decision over the top.  I stepped out of the crowd one last time, got rid of the sweatshirt and got back in time for the national anthem......and away we went.

We started just as planned - SLOW - and a few groups got out in front of us.  "Who cares" I thought, this is just about finishing.  Within minutes I started to feel the effects of over-hydrating in prep......and within the next hour I stopped four times.  I could feel my hands getting a little stiff and they looked a little puffy, a sure early sign that I had over-done my pre-race hydrating the previous two days and my electrolyte balance was not where it needed to be. Over-hydration can easily lead to hyponatremia (low salt), a very dangerous (and occasionally deadly) condition......so, since I didn't want any piece of that, I needed to make some early shifts in my nutrition plan. Going in I had planned to get all of my calories in liquid form by mixing carbs with my fluids since it's easier to process liquids than solids while racing. So whereas this is a great strategy in normal conditions, it unfortunately meant that I now couldn't get fuel without getting fluid. Of course given my less than stellar previous experiences in ultra-distance events when my nutrition plan went south, I was trying to stay calm.  This was WAY too early for things to start going wrong.......

We made it to the food-aid station, and I decided I'd grab some solid calories (Cliff-brand "Shot Blocks" which I like but never use during races) in hopes to get some fuel in while the hydration situation leveled off.  I had a soft-tortilla with peanut butter and another plain one on our way out of the station and I hoped I wouldn't pay for it later.  What most people don't realize is that when you're working hard enough (high-heart rate), you can't process anything in your stomach and it just sits there eventually causing gastric issues.....thankfully for me, the slow pace was keeping my heart rate in check and the solids didn't bother me.  To add some insurance, I took in some salt to make sure I wasn't getting "waterlogged" (hyponatremic).

By mile 15 the water issue was settling and I hadn't had to "go" for a while.....we made our way to an absolutely gorgeous section of the course with amazing views and kept on trucking.  We did a few miles of up and down and the day was starting to get hot.  I had actually developed a slight thirst, so I knew it was time to start putting fluids back in.......and all was well, I was over the day's first major obstacle.  

GREAT DAY FOR UP!

Trashed legs

So besides being woefully physically underprepared and mentally unsure of myself, barely making it to the start on time and running into a potentially devastating nutrition issue within the very first portion of the race, the day couldn't have been off to a more beautiful start.  The sun was shining and we were chugging along.  Somewhere around mile 18 or 20 and we started to climb.  Of course the guys had mentioned that we had a solid 10 mile climbing section, but having not even looked at the race profile, I had no idea what to expect.....so we climbed and reached the second aid station which was somewhere near the 1/2 way point we got a little more fuel, filled our hydration packs and headed back out to continue to climb.....and climb.......and climb.  Over the next 12 to 13 miles we trudged up to the very top of the race course.  It took what felt like an eternity, the sun was starting to beat down some and we kept trudging along.  We finally go to the top (somewhere around 30 miles into the race) and I told the guys I needed to stop and stretch.....it felt soooo good to sit.  My legs were starting to bark literally from my toes all the way to my lower back.  I knew I was way out on a limb physically and I had to keep stretching and giving my legs any microbreak I could.  We finally got down from that perch to the lake around mile 34 and I knew we had a few miles of downhill. 

Because of the pouding and the deceleration, downhill is not really any "easier" on the body, than uphill, it's just typically a bit faster.......so from this point to the food/aid/bag-exchange station at 38-ish we cruised.  I was so happy to get there.  A folding plastic chair never felt so good.  I promptly sat down with my bag, changed my shoes (which felt AWESOME), got some fluids down (I was not on the slightly dehydrated end of the spectrum), stretched and took some fuel for my pack.  I stretched again and then told the guys we had to go or I'd be staying right where I was......we got up and kept moving.  I knew we had some additional ups and downs ahead of us, but at this point we were doing more down than up overall......which was TOTALLY OK w/me.

THE CRANKY COMPETITOR REARS HIS HEAD

We made our way past a big section of rock-climbers (pretty cool to see) and slowly moved up the final hill trying to keep the body temperature in check as things were heating up.  We eventually made it to the mile 42.2 aid station and filled our packs as this was the final station before the finish line.  At this point 7.8 miles doesn't seem so far.  I kept telling myself that.....but it was far.  My legs were now talking back loudly and although I wouldn't call it pain (per se), it was significant discomfort on most steps.....by the end of mile 44 we got to the last real uphill coming into mile 45.  For some reason the course markings threw us off a little bit at that point, we were going up a fairly significant grade (even though a pretty short one, it was a big challenge) and a few teams that we had passed were sneaking up on us, something that the inner competitor never loves.

I could feel myself going from guy out having a good run, to competitor starting to toe the line between anger and mental implosion.  I said to Nick "are you sure we're going the right way?  I'm going to be so pissed if we are climbing this hill for nothing"......he assured me that we were on the right track.  Joe and I were not so confident.  We kept climbing......at about the time when we saw the mile 45 marker, a husband and wife team that had been gaining ground on us caught and passed us.  It is never a great feeling to know how hard you're working and then feel like someone else has your number and even though this race was a very friendly and cordial racing element, it was still a race......and we just got passed.  We regrouped a little and at about the same time saw that we were about to catch up and pass a team that we had been cat-and-mousing all day but had seemed to keep their distance on us for the last several miles.  That was all the boost I needed, we got to the top of the hill and started to jog.  I don't know if it was adrenaline, or the fumes of the "diva" moment I was experiencing or what, but I felt like I could run......so I did.  Joe and Nick went with me and we chugged along at a much faster clip than we had run in a while (maybe all day, or at least it felt that way).  We passed both the team that we were pursuing and the team that just passed us.  We were pushing it a little too early and they guys knew it, but I kept going and urged them to keep up....that we were going to put a few minutes into the competition and get this thing finished.....and they did.  Joe eventually took the lead for a while and we kept chugging along at a solid clip.  It felt so good to run.....even though we all knew we'd pay for it some.  We were not at all sure we had made up enough time to stay ahead of those two teams......but at this point, we wanted to cross first.  We alternated jogging and "shuffle-walking" with an additional stretch break thrown in.  We got within a mile and 1/2 of the finish and my achilles tendon was starting to yell now.....we kept pushing and I was fading.  I just focused on keeping up with the guys and kept calculating how much distance was left.  Every tenth of a mile felt like an eternity and with about three quarters of a mile left we saw that one of the teams behind us was making a move.  They were about 500 yards behind us.  We needed to start moving.  We jogged, got to the end of the road just about to enter the final quarter mile and they had gained on us, but we would be able to finish EXCEPT.....we missed the signage and somehow took a wrong turn.  

CRISIS NEAR THE FINISH?

NO!  This was not happening.  We yelled across the road to an older gentleman sitting in his front lawn and asked if he knew how to get to the finish.  He just looked at us.  We yelled again and he said he had seen a runner go up that way......and then she turned around.  Thanks for nothing!  I was going into implosion-mode again.  Then Nick spotted a sign at about the same time that Joe flagged a cyclist........we figured it out and got back on the dirt road.  It was a final uphill and we still had enough distance on the team behind us.  We jogged and I could feel myself getting emotional.  I was thinking about my family and my kids......and the unmistakable "DADDY" shriek I've been so accustomed to hearing from my kids on the race course.  I knew they wouldn't be at the finish line, I had told Lindsay it wasn't worth the trek, but the mental oasis and subsequent emotional roller coaster propelled me those last couple of hundred yards.  

We crossed the finish line and Todd Jennings was standing there with a big smile on his face.  He asked Nick and Joe (the experienced ultramarathoner) how it was and they complimented him on the great course and amazing experience it really was.  He looked at me (the newly crowned ultramarathoner) and said "you doing OK Mike?  You look pretty tired".  I simply said "I am" and proceeded to sit down in the nearest grassy patch I could find.......getting off my feet was GLORIOUS......and I just sat.

SOME BAD NEWS

A few minutes later Todd came by to present us our medals and then leaned in and said "I've got some bad news for you".  I thought he was serious.....that maybe something bad had happened.

"What?" I said.

"You guys are the third team to cross, you took THIRD PLACE!".

"What?" I said.  "Are you sure?" I followed.  I couldn't believe this was possible.  We were ahead of our projection by 30-60 minutes depending on who's expectation......but it certainly didn't feel fast.

"Yes, you guys did great......I'll go get your award".

I couldn't believe it.  We snapped a couple of pictures and I laid back in the grass and let my legs stretch......they were sending a simple message "You're going to pay for this"....but I didn't care.  It was an incredibly satisfying finish to a very challenging day and months of not being at all sure I'd get to enjoy that moment.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, THANK YOU

So, with a very cranky left achilles, some quadriceps that are waging a mini pain war, and a generally tired body, I say thank you to my family and friends for believing in me, my racing team (Nick and Joe) for pulling me along and getting me to the finish, to Joe for taking great pictures along the way and to all the incredibly generous people who donated to this adventure.  You were part of something very special for me, not to mention part of a group that raised nearly $100K for "One of Earth's last great places" and I will treasure the fact that you had a part to play in it.

It'll be a while before I try another one of these on for size, but you never do know.

The effort continues,

Mike E.

#107: I don't know where I'm goin' (but I am getting older)

Yes, it's that time of year again.....when I am reminded that another year has gotten away and I still haven't taken over the world.  Ugh!  Not exactly the kind of thing that earns respect in the eyes of my mad-scientist brethren.....but it is what it is.....time does fly by (for example, it's been almost a month since my last "weekly" post......at some point I'll find the discipline to get back on my routine).  Anyway, Happy Birthday to me.

Since the last day-of-ME (get it, ME?) a lot has happened on all of life's fronts; and although a little amazed how much can happen in a year, I'm never quite surprised any more.  We are starting to see the fruits of our labor on the professional front with larger and larger numbers of people taking control of their health and starting to achieve their goals; on the home front my kids are growing by the day and making progress toward their own goals and me a proud-Dad along the way; and on the training front, I posted personal bests in every distance I raced......but the work is not done.....and although I'm not sure it really ever is, I know I've made a leap in the right direction.....that's the good news.

The somewhat less inspring news is that I'm not nearly as clear on where I'm going as where I've been.  This time last year it all seemed so clear to me.....my goal was to work really hard, qualify for the big dance in Kona and use the experience as a great chance to learn and share with others......and to be clear, I've not given up on it.....not by a long shot.  However, I'm starting to wonder if there are a few plot twists coming.

Last year in the fall, I crossed paths with someone who I don't know if I've ever met before but he seemed to know me.  He had heard me speak at a corporate client-site and had read some of the communications I had written (either this blog or similar) and knew I had been training for the Ironman.  He asked me how the race went and I told him that I was happy with it but far from satisfied, he told me congrats and then asked me how much time I spent training.......after the answer, he looked me in the eye and the next thing he said took me back a step.  

He said:

"wow, that's a lot of time you spend training for such an event.  I guess I wonder how much good you could do if you put that time and energy into something that really helped others".

I don't think he meant it maliciously.......but in that moment he stopped me.....and I thought about whether the Red-iculous effort was just some selfish quest.....I thought a lot about it that day and I concluded that it wasn't.  Pushing myself to my limits has been a very good way of helping others to see that their own limits are surmountable and that they too can push against them.  Racing is living the ENDURE part of the work that we do....the long-term focus, the grittiness that gets us to the other side of life's chasms.  And I was OK with that......

And then last night (birthday-eve into birthday), I had a vivid dream......something that I don't do nearly as much lately.  I was dressed in a suit and tie (which is odd in itself) and I walked up to a bus stop where a little old couple sat on a bench tightly clinging to one another.  There was another woman sitting near them talking to them.  Her uniform said she was an intern at the nearby hospital and she was desperately trying to get these folks to come with her.  After asking if everything was OK I learned that she thought the couple was lost and wanted to make sure they were OK.  I tried to intervene and made a little progress in gaining the trust of the two folks who I now also believed to be lost or confused or both.....but I didn't get anywhere really substantial.  My bus had arrived for the dinner I was supposed to be at and I gave the intern my cell phone number and promised to make a few calls, I got on my bus (apparently wherever I was going there was only bus transport to get there.....weird) and went.  The next thing I knew, which I think was the next morning, I was getting what could only be described as scolded by a nurse or social worker from a local hospital who was questioning how I could just walk away from the situation......and asking me if I believed I should've done more.  It went on for a few minutes that way and then at 3AM on my birthday, I woke up wondering if I should be doing more......it bothered me.

The answer is, I don't really know......but I'm open to keep working hard, looking for wisdom in life's lessons.  In an effort to not take myself too seriously and after thoroughly enjoying "Rock of Ages" in NYC which was Lindsay's gift to me (inclusive of a jello-shot for old-times' sake), I guess it's only fitting to leave this episode with the imortal words of Whitesnake, who featured prominently in the show:

I don't know where I'm goin
But I sure know where I've been
Hanging on the promises in songs of yesterday.
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
But here I go again, 

Tho' I keep searching for an answer
I never seem to find what I'm looking for.
Oh Lord, I pray you give me strength to carry on
'Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams.

Not there yet,

Mike E.

#106: In like a punch in the gut, out like a?

Hooray!  March is here....and although it's been here for 11 days, I've decided it's time to write something.....it being more than 2 weeks since my last post and all.  Well, I'm excited to say that March is underway.  I sort of knew February was going to be tough.....it might be the most hated month.  Cold, dark, etc - something that usually doesn't bother me all that much, but this year - tough one.  Of course, like most things, it was something I brought upon myself.....being ambitious and all I took on a few extra projects professionally and (as it turned out) they all seemed to stack up around late February.  It was the kind of energy-sapping, mind-numbing thing that was nearly a death-blow to my training, although every time I squeezed in a short effort I was happy I did......but now, it's March and although it started like February ended - more to do than I could possibly handle, it has felt a lot like a turning point over the last 10 days.  Not exactly cornering on a dime, but with some of the projects over, some nearing their end and this past weekend, which after an energy-fueled professional conference where I accepted some recognition as an "innovator in Physical Therapy" on behalf of my team, sang along with some live music at the local Irish bar until past my bedtime, welcomed a new partner to our business structure, watched my daughter score her first goal of the spring season at a soccer game with sun that felt like spring shining on me and got my first trail run of more than 10 miles (12.25 to be exact) in, things are looking much better.

• Are we there yet?  Nope.
• Is there more work to do?  You bet.
• Are things better when they're organized? For sure.

And so it is with the gripping but strangely satisfying soreness in my legs and part of the weight lifted off my shoulders that I'm feeling like I'm almost ready to take that next leap that I've been staring at for the last 45 days.

It's not the demands that kill us, it's the lack of control over them.

I love organization,

Mike E. 

#105: it's about the growth, stupid

Why do we do what we do?  Why do we voluntarily put ourselves into situations that we know are beyond our abilities......

The last few weeks have been a series of foothills for me.  On the one hand, they've felt a lot like speedbumps, but when I step back and look, they're really foothills, which are challenging, but more than anything, a sign of the real climbing that is about to come and although I've been terrible at maintaining even a shred of what I'd call a regular blog,  I realize events of late have been part of my greater-REDiculous effort; not the endurance-training specifically, although there's been some of that, but the idea that great achievement comes from a sustained effort.  I was at an annual "meeting of the minds" this weekend, my third annual, where some of the bright-bulbs in my field (and somehow me) come together to debate and connect and push ideas forward.  At one moment someone brought up the old Bill Clinton (internal) phrase used on the 1992 campaign trail "the economy stupid" (coined by James Carville).....and when I started thinking about where things have been for me and where I think I'm going, I keep thinking "it's about the growth stupid"......because that's what the REDiculous Effort is it supposed to ensure......a long focused effort to yield amazing growth and extraordinary experiences along the way with endurance racing as the "easy" experiment.

So about those foothills:

• I'm taking on my first ultramarathon this year (May) and I've been slowly ramping my miles.  Pretty good challenge so far and I'm running behind. 

• Work is super busy right now and although coming from a small business owner that's NEVER a complaint, every wrinkle is a new challenge and effort which is definitely pushing me

• Other professional commitments are beginning to peak

• I've been working on my first paid writing gig.  Something very different b/c it's a professional assignment which means a lot of dotting of I's and crossing of T's....but it's been a good push for me.

• I gave my first TED style speech over the weekend which was nerve-wracking but a lot of fun.  Giving a speech to a group of professional-peers and leaders in my field was intimidating, but I think it was (generally) well received.

So although I've not had the chance to blog nearly as much as I want to, nor train as hard or long as I want to, nor get everything done that I've wanted to......the effort so far has prepared me for a wild ride.....and the last few weeks have been wild.  Seems like the real challenging stuff is yet to come......hope to be ready.

It's about the growth,

Mike E.

#104: Inching forward at the speed of slug

Not back to myself yet from a routine and training perspective, although last week was a bit more orderly than previous.  Got a swim a bike and a run in, so that felt good and things felt a bit more normal. 

Swim - good to be back in the water.....not fast and not smooth, but after several weeks away, it wasn't a huge surprise.  Shoulders were cranky the next day and I was happy about that.....sort of one of those physical hurts, but mental lifts knowing why they were sore.  I was also really excited to test out my new gear.  I recently purchased a new training watch which has an accelerometer in it which can be programmed to work like a lap counter and record some stroke rate information.  Not exactly sure how to use that information, but it's just another bit of nerd-candy for me to play with......so that's cool.

Bike - was short and sweet......just wanted to get something done.  I knew I would be missing spin-Saturday, so pushing the legs a little was a good thing.  Nothing special, just some spinning and a short weight session.

Run - got 2 runs in since last post.  The first was in the bitter cold on Friday.....and it was not fun.  It was only a 4.25 mile run and it took me the better part of 3 miles for my fingers to thaw.....darn circulatory system.  The second was last night with a group of guys doing 8.  They were super gracious to go out a bit earlier than planned and I was able to get the full 8 in.  It's been a while since I was able to get an 8 miler in and it felt SOOOO good to get out.

_______________

Also finally got around to checking my USA Triathlon rankings from last year.  I was pleasantly surprised to find that I ranked in the top 10% of my age group (7.2% to be exact but who's counting).  And I might have been a bit higher but the odd distance of my first race of the year made for a bit of an outlier score.  Not totally surprising to me my best race ranking-wise was the 1/2 Ironman in RI.  With any luck I'll race that distance well again this year in NH.  Still got some time to shave if I want to make the big dance.....but that was not surprise at all.

So where from here?  Well, for me it's all about getting back in the habit......just finding the right routine.  I'm thinking a M, T, Th, F, S schedule is going to be my best chance because of the way kid activities are falling lately, but who really knows.

Either way getting a few consistent sessions in and having the rankings look a little better than I expected were both good boosts for me.....so a baby step in the right direction.

One foot in front of the other,

Mike E.

#103: Looking down the totem pole at a pile of......

Excuses.  Yep, that's what I see when I look down from atop the totem pole I'm sitting on.  I just can't seem to find my training mojo and it's really getting to me.  It's not without good reason - it seems like every time I turn around life just keeps getting busier.....because they're mostly good things, albeit still busier I just keep turning around.  You think I'd learn.  So I figured perhaps if I get all of my barriers out on paper maybe I can revisit and come up with the right plan of attack.  I'm no less committed to my training goals, I'm just getting a little worried I might have to be committed to stay committed (get it?).

Professionally - In addition to the regular craziness of trying to win friends, influence people and help change a few lives along the way (OK, to be fair, if I was being judged on the 'winning friends' part, I'd not be looking real well) we are in the midst of some evolution pains at Pro-Activity.  Sort of like growing pains, but more growth & development pains than growing (get bigger) pains.  It takes a lot of work to evolve and grow and we're knee deep in it......which is a great thing......but it's a time consumer for sure.  In addition, I've taken on a few extra professional duties that through the first quarter of 2013 will keep me hopping and at the moment they seem to have my number. They're all very good things.....but I'm tired, and as fatigue goes up, motivation goes down......so I need to rest, recover and get organized.

Family - My kids are EVERYWHERE.  No, I'm not claiming to have populated the earth here.....I'm just starting to feel more of the pain of running-kids rather being a runner with kids.  Our three are now old enough that they are going in different directions almost everyday (and winter is the calm season, yikes!) and not right around the corner unfortunately.  Raising "well rounded" kids takes serious effort.  Just a different form of endurance entirely.

Of course, it's a bit of a doom loop.  No motivation means no training, which means the stress feels heavier than it should and the motivation wanes......and so on.  It must be obvious.....Lindsay actually bought Ice Cream last week. Yes people, that's the rich-creamy-tastiness served frozen.  So rare in our house that I'm convinced it MUST mean it's obvious I'm cracking up....and that she's clearly an enabler.....Java Chip, which is like my ultimate favorite and rock bottom from a training perspective......now it's all relative of course, as I'm still getting 3-5 hours in per week.....but that's pretty low compared to what I've been used to for the last two years.  Last Thursday night, I actually found myself doing push-ups in front of the TV.  It felt good to do something......but I haven't gone swimming in WAY too long (almost as long as it's been since I could face my blog) and it's not nearly enough hours on the bike.

So at risk of sounding like people who say "that's it, I'm going to do it starting now".....who in my mind are lying to themselves......I'm simply going to say this:

I WILL have some java chip and then I will have some rest.  Because it's getting very near time to get my crap together.

In the immortal words of MC Hammer:

Ring the bell, school's back in, break it down,

Mike E.

(ok, the ring the bell comment was for the basecamp folks....now do your jumping jacks)